In the grand scheme of things

Okay, so there’s this boy that I used to talk to and text last year. We texted more than we actually talked, but we talked about a lot of things. I seem to not matter to him a whole lot obviously because he doesn’t really have a single memory of our convos. Now we’re like awkward acquaintances. What do I do?

Although I don’t know the circumstances between you and him, I do have to say your perspective on the situation may be different from the reality of it. Take a step back and reevaluate the relationship. Even though he has forgotten the conversations that you and he have shared, it shouldn’t matter because you’ve learned about one another. Honestly if the discomfort is caused by the lack of communication between you and him compared to how it used to be, then there shouldn’t be any worry. I guarantee that you do matter to him. It appears that both of you feel extremely awkward around one another due to the lack of face-to-face talking. Make the first move and just talk to him. Start slowly, with a simple text of saying “Hey how’s it going?” Continue the conversation by asking him very general questions about school and life like how he’s doing in his classes, if he has read any good books or seen any good movies, bring music into the conversation; it doesn’t matter what you talk to him about. Just remember that you’re only trying to reconnect with him. I wish I could give you a better answer but I don’t know the context to help you more than this. All in all, everything will work out marvelously.

I have someone who says that I’m their best friend, yet I’m the only one who takes the initiative when it comes to hanging out. I’m starting to feel more like convenience than a friend. Should I try to involve them in my life more, or just not waste my energy on them?

It all depends on the situation and your interpretation of the friendship. In my opinion it shouldn’t matter the amount of time spent apart; in relationships time is relative in that: as long as you can reconnect with whomever you choose, it doesn’t matter whether it’s been a day or ten years. Since this year has begun at such a quick pace, your friends might not have the time, energy or, like me, the money to go out. You should definitely consider talking to them about your emotions even though you may be nervous. If they’re really there for you, they’ll understand. If all else fails, then it’ll be okay, there are billions of people in this world to meet and befriend. In the grand scheme of life, the pointless drama and worry will subside, and in ten years, I guarantee you’ll look back and wonder why the emotions affected you like they did—that is if you even remember. All in all the only advice I can give you is to make the most effort you can muster up in rebuilding the relationship—do all that you possibly can—and if all else fails, then move on because it’s for the best.

Wishing you luck.

I knew I had to break up with my significant other and so I did but I’m still in love with them, I have no clue how to get past it. HELP.

Love is an extremely sticky topic in that you never really get over someone; you’ll continue to have this emotion lingering in the back of your mind. With time the pain gradually becomes more spread apart—sporadic even. In my opinion there’s only one method of handling this barrage of emotions since you’re looking to move past it:

  1. Cut off contact immediately
  2. Delete any pictures, text messages, everything.
  3. Surround yourself with loved ones who support you and care for you.
  4. Find an outlet of expressing this emotion.
  5. Talk to someone you trust about it.

Now the only reason I say to end it is because you’re either going to hurt, or the relationship will shatter. The more you’re around them the more you’ll want them, the more you want them the more it aches. It’s a vicious cycle. Sometimes pursuit just isn’t worth the agony. In addition, don’t EVER get into a ‘rebound love’ because that never really works. Take into account what actions you need to do to move past, but only move forward if the love plagues you. Love is a beautiful array of precious emotions that make us all human; it allows our souls to be free from the obstacles of life, and even though we don’t belong to anyone, it’s still a sensation worthwhile. I’m only telling you this because it’s a wonderful feeling, and you shouldn’t dismiss it despite the pain. Lastly, just think about the decision of whether to move forward or reconstruct the relationship.

Stay free.