How do I stop myself from liking somebody who I know I’m not supposed to be liking because I know they don’t like me on a romantic level yet I still enjoy their company and admire everything about them?

Dear student,

Feelings can be a beautiful yet cruel thing. They can bring you a wonderful romance yet can be destroyed by a tragic heartbreak. Feelings can also unknowingly creep up on you. When you end up liking someone, you don’t just engage in it. Instead, you suddenly end up falling.

Unfortunately, studies have shown that you are more likely to fall in love with someone you have zero chances with. It’s like once you find someone you like, yet not having them like you back is a different type of heartbreak.

Yes, it can be devastating to be blindly in love with someone who doesn’t share the same feelings, but honestly, you can’t stop yourself from liking somebody⁠— it is uncontrollable. You can’t help it. There is just something about that person that makes your heart skip a beat and that is okay. It happens. You shouldn’t deny those feelings, instead you should come to terms with your emotions. It’s not about disregarding your feelings\; it’s how you handle it. Falling for someone you think you have zero chance with can be torture, but it is up to you whether you move on or keep unconditionally liking them.

But if you really want to stop liking them, you have to forcefully push all those feelings down and focus on anything else. Nevertheless, if you believe they will eventually like you, then act upon it. You may feel something and they could possibly feel the same. You don’t know until you do something about it. It’s like when someone tells you to eat something that doesn’t look pleasing, but how will you ever know if you don’t try it? Be bold, be daring, be adventurous. I know it’s scary to “shoot your shot,” but at least you’ll get some perspective on what they feel too.

However, if you are like me and not gutsy, then you can start off by, every now and then, being touchy, hugging them or something. I hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck with your feelings and this person.

Sincerely, K113